[Preface: Living away from the home and family crowd has it’s share of missing out on a lot of things. It has it’s perks too. I’m a pretty happy person and I spend time wondering about the lives of people in my circle. Are they also happy? No worries? Are there big life events like new twin babies this week? Are they excited, successful, even missing me? How do I connect? Well I read FB and message some. I mail pillowcases or small gifts that make me think of them. I wonder if something I know will help them with something they are struggling about. Should I say or not? How will they know I think of them, if I don’t say. I was brought up short this week by a pronouncement that apparently “I think I know everything and always have”. At almost 70, I know a little about a lot, but not everything about anything. I know how to be helpful and KIND and honest and truthful. I also know that saying you’ll do something is a far cry from doing it. I know that I was raised with “you’re in charge” and “work everyday [there was a list]” and I often wish someone had offered some advice or a good book, that might have saved me grief. Advice offered is not advice taken. But it might be ” thinking of you” advice. I’d rather someone thought I cared enough to spend some time on them as opposed to never giving a rat’s ass [as Carrie would say].
Oh, and I learned that BE KIND is way more “crap” than caring!]
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”
“You never know what people are going through. Just remember to be kind.”
“Be thoughtful, be genuine, be thankful, be kind”
“Life is difficult for everyone…just be kind”
BE KIND …. is code word for “Say ONLY what I want to hear!”
BE KIND – I’m having a bad day, so pat me on my back and whisper platitudes of adoration. [ You spent time thinking of me and wondering about me? And you think that counts? Wake up!]
BE KIND – Encourage my bad behavior with abundant and gushing pride in me. [ You don’t think I’m great when I can’t tell the truth or keep my word, so what!]
BE KIND – Shower my inexperience and stumbling with praise so i can ignore any outside help or concern. [Better yet, who are you to help me?]
BE KIND – because being kind is a one way street and I will mow you over if I don’t think you are “kind” or “kind enough”!
BE KIND is plastered on Facebook. I see it on billboards, shop signs and marquees. “Be kind, you never know what someone is going through.” It’s a plea. It’s a reminder. It’s a request. It’s actually a WARNING! BE KIND or else!
It pretty much means, coddle me, stroke my ego, pamper me with praise and comfort, don’t say anything that might offend me today or yesterday or tomorrow …. or else! Be Kind doesn’t mean “that’s what I can do for you”, it means “that IS WHAT you can do for me!”
On the Phone: I’m not interested in you as a customer. I’m not interested in your service need. I’m not interested in even returning your call and I am not interested when you are upset with my lack of concern – BE KIND!
On Facebook: I’m having a rough week, life is cruel, I’m not going to even post the details, but believe me, I need help and prayers. You just need to hear me whine cause life is sooooo hard and no one understands what i can’t talk endlessly about – BE KIND!
In Business: I’m a professional but i expect exceptions for anything that goes wrong. I know exactly how things work on my terms. As a customer, you have no idea how hard this is. I’ll get it right when i get it right and DO NOT offer help or concern – BE KIND!
In Families: Sure we’re related, bottom line, but that is all. I can lie to you about anything AND everything and you don’t get to call me out. I make no apology for my insincerity. I can hurt you, exaggerate, dismiss and shit all over you and you ….. you can just BE KIND!
See a pattern here? I do!
BE KIND, the latest catch phrase, means YOU BE KIND and I’ll dictate the terms and parameters and if you get it wrong, I certainly won’t remember the term “KIND”.
BE KIND….my ass!